Will you find a way…or an excuse?

Often I meet with people who are dissatisfied with their lives, their accomplishments, themselves. When I ask what they should do about it, every one of them knows the answer. Asked if they will, many waver, then backtrack. They explain in

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Know You Believe It!

Beliefs matter. Belief is the engine which causes us to act. Our actions reinforce those beliefs. Good ideas matter, as bad ideas matter, because of the actions they motivate, the ideas they reinforce. Cause leads to effect. We develop our

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What Gives Meaning To Your Life?

What gives meaning to your life? What’s your purpose? Could you answer if you had more time? It bothered me when I didn’t know my purpose, my reason for being, for getting up and doing what I did. I decided

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What Does That Mean?

Here’s my favorite question right now—What does that mean? I ask myself, I ask my sons, I ask my clients. Most statements we make are vaguely general. Same old lines, blah, blah, blah; automatic, uninspiring, boring. I need to get

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Willing To Walk?

Three clients requested help with negotiation skills. It’s one of my favorite topics and here’s why. No matter who you are and what you do, you’re constantly negotiating. You’re trying to move others to your viewpoint, your activity, your belief.

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We Live Up To What We Write Down

Harvard Business Review* asked Dr. Robert Cialdini, expert on persuasion: Why does getting it in writing matter? His response? People live up to what they write down. People live up to what they write down. It’s the reason for written,

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What You Tolerate, You Encourage

Be careful what you allow, what you tolerate, what you accept. Often, it seems such a little thing, like telling a white lie. A white lie, seeming insignificant, is still a lie. When does a “little” lie become a “big”

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Create Your Perfect You!

Our vision of the future is blurred, indistinct. This vague and dim picture confuses our brains. The brain looks for patterns, seeks targets, and is biologically motivated to achieve. The more we clarify our vision—our perfect day, our ideal week,

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Don’t Confuse Effort with Results!

Many salespeople confuse effort with results. I don’t and I suggest you don’t. Certainly, effort counts. We need to try before we can do. Effort means you did some work; you tried. Good. Results means you accomplished something. Better. What

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Don’t “Should” All Over Yourself!

Maybe our worst self-talk is when we say: I should have…I should be…I shouldn’t do…All about what might have been, what the “perfect me” could have done. ”Shoulda, coulda, woulda: our self-criticizing, morally obliging personal vision of the idealized you.

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Does Experience Teach? Maybe…

We’ve been told: Experience is the best teacher. I disagree. Experience provides the opportunity to learn. We may learn by reflecting on our experience—learning from it, not by it, an important distinction. We’ve been told: Doing the same thing over

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Stop Setting Goals!

Our vision of the future is blurred, indistinct. This vague and dim picture confuses our brains. The brain looks for patterns, seeks targets, and is biologically motivated to achieve. The more we clarify our vision—our perfect day, our ideal week,

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This Little Thing Is Huge!

It’s easy to overlook the little things, like acknowledging someone else’s contribution. But is it really a little thing to ignore them? It seems too often it’s what can make or break a relationship. It’s dangerous to not acknowledge others:

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Let’s Take In The Good!

We’re predisposed to be negative. It’s a product of our evolution; it helped protect us from harm. Our brains were constantly vigilant, anxious, and alert, to help us stay alive. What helped us then can harm us now. Our fight

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Don’t Show Me the Money!

When you’re having problems making decisions because money clouds the issue, simply take it out of the equation. For example: If you’re analyzing who your best clients are, do it based on money, then without it. If someone’s paying me

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While You Still Have Time!

I talk to people, young and old, who are unsure of what they should be doing with their lives. They question their purpose, the meaning of their lives, what’s important. They’re undecided and they get stuck. I recommend they answer

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C’Mon: Bet On You!

In an article about responsibility I read recently, I saw this response from a person griping about his job and his life when someone asked him why he just didn’t do something different: That’s easy for you to say about

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Answer Your Way To Your Dreams!

How do you answer these questions?— What is my vision of success? What do I want to achieve this year? What are my three most important goals, right now? What are my top 5 core values? These penetrating questions produce

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Want More Sales?

I told a client this week: Most salespeople fail because, one, they’re told to do it the wrong way, or, two, they’re allowed to do it wrong. Even though every company lives on its revenues and, therefore, every one’s a

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No Do-Overs Allowed!

Ninety-plus-year-olds were asked: If you could live your life over, what would you do differently? Three answers recurred: I would reflect more. I would risk more. I would do more things that would live on after I’m gone. This isn’t

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You’ll Prove It!

They say: Of course I’m serious about achieving my goals! No one says otherwise. Nevertheless, if you are serious, you’ll behave in a manner that proves it. It’s not enough to say it, you’ve got to take steps to move closer

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Failure, Like Success, Is A Choice

Just as there are universal laws for success, there are universal laws for failure. Those doomed to fail say: We can’t…You don’t understand…We’re different; our situation is unique…We don’t have the people…money…time…They say it repeatedly, not occasionally. It’s always something

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Dreamer or Visionary?

Everyone starts off as a dreamer. Each of us has our dreams, those things we’d love to do. Most of us do nothing about it. A visionary gets things done. He pursues his dreams. His vision stimulates his pursuit. He

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Get Some Easy Early Wins!

Even the most successful people have crises in confidence: doubts, fears, failures. We’re human, we’re not invincible. To help build your confidence—get some easy wins at the start. If we lose often when we begin…we’re prone to give up, to

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Learn. Unlearn. Relearn.

Too many of us think that once we learn something, we own it forever. It’s just not true, it’s not “one and done.” Here’s the process: We learn. We unlearn. We relearn. When we concentrate on it and use it,

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Own Your Decision!

If you’re a leader, or aspire to be one, I have a recommendation: Never use the excuse, “I didn’t get it done because I didn’t have the time.” That’s BS and everybody knows it! You’re the leader; if that’s your

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Pick A Date!

I was speaking with a client the other day about a project I wanted to get going. When he asked me what my target date was for completion, I started to hem and haw and justify why I couldn’t give

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