Maybe our worst self-talk is when we say: I should have…I should be…I shouldn’t do…All about what might have been, what the “perfect me” could have done. ”Shoulda, coulda, woulda: our self-criticizing, morally obliging personal vision of the idealized you.
Just as there are universal laws for success, there are universal laws for failure. Those doomed to fail say: We can’t…You don’t understand…We’re different; our situation is unique…We don’t have the people…money…time…They say it repeatedly, not occasionally. It’s always something
Striving for perfection is self-defeating. Anytime you set such an unachievable goal, you guarantee failure. Because it’s unachievable (and, therefore, not believable), we procrastinate, we start but never finish, and we beat ourselves up for not completing our task. We